The Deep End

Sometimes in life we get thrown in the deep end, and sometimes we discover that we actually enjoy swimming there.

This weekend was one of those “being thrown in the deep end” experiences for me. A mere two weeks ago, I was asked to do a session at a relative’s church camp. The theme of their camp was creative worship, and I was asked to spend some time sharing about writing as a means of creative worship.

Upon the initial phone call, my mind was buzzing with thoughts and ideas, and excitement nearly exploded from my insides at the thought. Of course I was not a professional on the topic and I had no experience sharing on the matter, and yet somehow the thrill of cliff diving into this mysterious venture was exciting.

I was completely calm and happy, until the very night before. I learned that sometimes having too many ideas can be just as frightening as having none. I found that for the duration of my preparation time, I was simply unable to put any ideas in any logical format and everything I seemed to come up with led only to frustration.

Eventually, knowing I had to get up early the next morning and at my wit’s end, I simply prayed and asked God to give me His peace and to take control.

I went to sleep.
I had nothing.
Yet, somehow I felt I needed to trust God.

Faith is a funny thing.

I awoke early the next morning. I read Psalm 12. I had to laugh at verse 3:

“May the LORD cut off all flattering lips,
And the tongue that speaks proud things,”

Up until that point, I hadn’t thought about the fact that I was trying to do things on my own, with my own thoughts, ideas and with my pride.
I humbled myself before the Lord. I prayed.

Suddenly, a whole session came into my heart and I quickly jotted everything down.
I almost began stressing about the details. But, I knew it would be futile. I just decided to trust God’s process.

In the end it was good! The interaction, the feedback on the session, the task given, everything went well.
Besides the positive feedback, I think I learned a valuable lesson.

Sometimes we need the deep end to challenge our faith. We also need faith to be victorious and not drown in the deep end.


2 thoughts on “The Deep End

  1. Hi Toni, You were amazing. I was so touched to witness such a young powerful women of God being used in such awesome ways. Continue to avail yourself to God’s work and He will bless you. The session was a true inspiration to many people. I was just chatting to another women who was there and she still refining her poem 🙂 May God bless and keep you.

    • Veaan! Thank you so much for the encouraging response! It really was such a privilege for me to be able to be part of it all. I was blessed by the opportunity and am delighted to know that God can use anyone, anywhere.
      Glory to God for what He is doing among His people everywhere! 🙂

      Blessings to you!
      Keep shining 🙂

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