Over the last while, I have asked myself some very difficult questions. While personal challenging questions isn’t exactly mind-blowing, my conviction throughout the process has been pressing.
The hardest question yet was “Am I living an intentional life”?
This question is particularly hard because well, that’s the title or “theme” of my blog. My, so to say, “life motto”, where I daily “live on purpose”. While I honestly love the concept and understand that the truth behind it came from a very sincere place in my heart, I have to be honest with myself about its reality.
Truthfully, when I searched my heart and mind, I decided that the concept was more theory than practice at this stage of my life. I will honestly say this is a little disappointing. However, the fact that I had not yet clearly defined to myself what living purposely and intentionally meant, I saw an opportunity for me to seek it out. The gap existing between my desired concept and real life, expressed the need for some self-reflection and some action.
What does living a meaningful life mean? What does is meant to be intentional about living one’s life? How will I implement what I believe?
This kind of questioning both excited me and equally scared the bejeebers out of me. I find excitement in asking thought-provoking questions (I secretly blame my old college whose motto was “Live the questions”) while I equally hide from the fact that I may not be able to actually follow through. Naturally I fear that while a radical life would be influential, it could also be very costly. I also essentially risk failure, egg on my face as they say, if I am not able to maintain living a purposeful life.
So in fact, the real questions are, which risks am I willing to take? Am I willing to live a life that I believe I am called to irrespective of the outcome or response?
Most importantly, I ask, “Am I willing to risk failure, and be brave enough to be authentic about my journey?”
*cue dramatic music*
My answer: I don’t know, but it’s worth a shot. Life is for the living.
I may not have all the answers yet, but surely I will journey towards them.
Let’s journey shall we?