Nagging isnt always a bad thing

During the course of 2010… I went through a period of waking up every single morning with a nagging feeling in my gut. This drone made me restless – not in a bad way, but it really was a naaaagiiiing feeeeeling. I woke up like this: “I need to paint. I need to paint. I need TO paint. I NEED to PAINT! “.

This thought knocked on my mind’s door numerous times throughout any given day.
Now to me, this was just the weirdest concept. I mean, I was in my twenties and had never painted. Not for real anyway. Yet, here I was, waking up every day with this nagging voice. The feeling was there for such a while and so intensely, that everyday I would tell my friend/colleague about it. EVERYDAY. No jokes. this went on for a some time. Thankfully, my friend is very gracious.

Then one day, on one of our usual errands, we stopped at the craft shop just to look at random things. To cut a long story short, we walked out of the shop with two canvases, a couple of tubes of paint and a confused look on my face.
Her words: “Here. now you can paint”
I was amused.
She told me to paint her something for her wedding day (which wasnt THAT far away, just by the way). I said yes, because I honestly believed her to be joking. As it turned out, she was not at all.
My amusement faded.
I freaked out.
How could I paint?! For her WEDDING?! I knew nothing about it!
I eventually managed to calm the freakadoo down.
I had the genius idea to read an art book someone gave me. You know, to help me.
HUGE mistake!
This one simple act sent me over the freaking-out-edge!
All the things I “needed to know” overwhelmed me. COMPLETELY!
I was discouraged, and anxious. The kind of anxious where you want to throw up. Yes, that gross kind. I was convinced that I would NOT do it. I simply couldn’t.

It’s funny now.
I’m in the middle of my third painting. (amateur, don’t judge)
And guess what?
I STILL have the NAGGING in my GUT.
BUT…
I love it!

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